They can get us a lot of places in life. They can make us look powerful, or softly ok with everything that’s arising. But they have a limited lifespan, and your essential self (who you are in your core) gets hidden over.
We brace or collapse when we’re outside our window of tolerance
We overcompensate by pushing (“just a bit later, just a bit more…”) and performing to feel strong when we feel weak,
We fall into helplessness, numbness or victimhood when we are overwhelmed.
Those stances of brace (false bravado) or collapse (false surrender) can actually work for us, for a time. They can get us results, or they can help us feel safe by not engaging with the world.
But what I see is that at some point, that override and numbed out overwhelm catches up with us.
This is where we see patterns of burnout. Of chronic fatigue. Of collapse, procrastination and perfectionism. Of chronic tension in the body, or the need to rely on caffeine and stimulants to keep up.
What we need instead, to experience authentic strength or surrender, is to acknowledge and feel the habitual stances.
To meet that brace or collapse with your own presence.
And actually, to feel your own longing to be real, to be true.
So that you can begin to come to love, relationships and career from a deeply connected-to-self place inside.
…Imagine for a moment what that might feel like…
This is not about shaming the brace or collapse you may find in your life – but about making it conscious. And owning just how much override might have been habituated into the way you do what you do.
Cause what I know is… when we shift from False (pushing, denying, resisting, avoiding) to True (allowing, listening, accepting, meeting), life becomes much more real.
Here. Now.
It becomes way simpler and closer to love – for you first, then all those you tend and care for, all those you serve.
If you’re working with clients, running programs or events, and you crave a closer-to-true-you experience more of the time…
If you’re aware that your nervous system needs support so that the past (and possibly past trauma) doesn’t leak into the great work you want to do now,
Id love to invite you to apply for my 3 month Nervous system Mentoring program. This is a 1:1 highly tailored container for group leaders, coaches, facilitators and mentors to give you the inner support for your outer success.
We’ll work with the parts of you that push or collapse and stall your business momentum, the nervous system pathways that habituate to tightness when you’re trying to be at ease and in trust. We’ll address your early attachment patterns that make relationships a challenge (when we just want them to be nourishing and fulfilling) and make room for your soul and essential self to be in the drivers seat more and more. So that you can feel at home and content in yourself as you deliver your life’ work and what you love from your heart.
Simply reply to this post with “1:1 Application” and I’ll get back to you with a few short questions to see if we’re a fit and we could begin soon.
Much love to your day,
Amanda
PS: I’m writing to you this morning from a beautiful apartment in Berlin. I can hear the trams in the distance and little birds on the balconies, the sunlight is soft and feels like it goes on for days each day! We’re on a trip here to visit our family history (follow my journey here) – so if you reply to this post, I may take a few days to reply, but I will!
If you’re looking for support to reduce burnout and bring your True Self to your work and love, reply: “1:1 Application” to this post, and we’ll speak soon 🙂