“I want to be LOVED!”

“I want to see my family!”

“I WANT to be healthy again!!”

I WANT is a powerful statement. Full stop. Nothing else needs to be added. You dont need to know the future, what happens to the desire after you state it, .. or anything! Claiming your desires is powerful and complete unto itself.

We shut down our clarity when we start gettin all up in Life’s business – acting like we know what’s gonna happen next. Trying to avoid pain by telling ourselves things aren’t possible or it’s-never-happened-before-so-why-would-it-now.

It’s not up to you to make stuff happen or choose the “appropriate and reasonable” desires from the “impossible” ones.

Its your job to be more totally IN your heart and body and welcome the lust for life that wants to move through.

In my experience (and through witnessing clients) claiming your desires without adding anything onto them feels empowering, enlivening, fun! And True!

And then.. funnily enough, you are much more relaxed and open to the ways your desire is trying to show up for you, much more open to receiveing them!

There’s a way to maintain your healthy boundaries around requests and agreements even when you feel torn and uncertain. The keys to this are to start with what you Do know and communicate from that place.

To do this, you want to:

1. Be able to know and name your experience and feelings (even if it’s just to yourself)

2. Be willing to sit in the unknown and let your inner experience be your boundary.

I’ll give you an example.

Say you’re arguing with your ex partner about the care of your child. He wants more time with Timmy during the week and you want to have the whole school week with Timmy so his routine isn’t disrupted. You would also Love to go to a new yoga class on Wednesday nights, but your worry about Timmy’s balance is nagging you. If your boundaries are a bit melty, you might struggle but end up saying ok cause you’re worried your ex will withdraw all child care if he doesn’t get his way (you worry what you lose if you say no). The result of melty boundaries will tend to feel like confusion, focus on the other, anxiety and internal collapse.

If your boundaries are more rigid, you might hear the request and say a strong no, and be unbending as your ex tries to discuss or negotiate. The rigidness stops back and forth dialogue, but it also tends to create less connection (to self and other), less trust, more distance and less easiness in the dynamic for future discussions.

But, if you were to try this method below, you’d hear your ex’s request and pause to check what you feel and think. (If you’ve got a history of melty boundaries, you might not actually know what you think or feel other than squirmy discomfort or worry. This is a good starting place).

Boundaries are what define the difference between you and I. I feel hot, you feel cold. You feel angry, I feel peaceful. These are undeniable things happening within the boundaries of your own experience. So your ex (let’s just call him Fred), cannot argue with your statement that you feel squirmy discomfort or worry, because it’s just what you feel. (Or – he can, but then he would be crossing over into your boundaries). Your boundary does not have to be a clear and concise statement. A boundary can actually be a statement of your thoughts, feelings or sensations.

This is how the conversation might go:

Fred: “I want to have Timmy on Wednesday nights”

You: .. pause… …. “I feel squirmy and a bit worried about that”

Fred: “I’d really like to have more time with Timmy than just weekends” You: (…finding a bit more clarity as you sit with the squirm and worry) “Ah, I’m worried that a change in routine would disrupt his sleep and schooling and make him moody again”

Notice, you haven’t said yes or no yet.

Fred: “But he needs his dad in his life, I want to see him on Wednesdays”

You: “Yeah, I’m just feeling worried about the disruption”

Fred might try to convince you you’re not worried or don’t need to be worried. If you just stick to what you know (“I feel… “, ” I am … ” etc.) this can be your healthy and listening boundary.

You are not putting up a rigid wall, and you are not collapsing to try to make it work. It’s a healthy boundary because you’re not overriding your own experience in order to bring harmony or agreement or an end to the discussion, and you’re not making Fred’s desires wrong.

So, where this conversation can go (because you haven’t prematurely acted) is that solutions could start being offered. Or.. if there’s underlying difficult dynamics with your ex, they may come up to be aired or spoken (with the same “I feel…” “I want…” honesty). Either way, you’re staying available to the moment and honest about your inner needs and experience. In an ideal world, the chat would continue like this:

Fred: “well….. I can pick him up from school and make sure he eats early?”

You: “That feels better…. (pause).. Could we cancel his after school classes on Tuesdays as well so he’s not so tired coming to you?”

Fred: “yes, I’m willing to do that. We can also try for a week or 2 and see how it goes?”

You: “Yes. That feels good”

So, you have a clear agreement, you stood firm in your own feelings and thoughts and needs (even when you weren’t quite clear yet what they were) and you didn’t override yourself. This kind of communication of boundaries even before you know what you want allows for back and forth negotiation, and more importantly, Listening. Notice as well that (in our example) nobody made anyone’s desires or feelings wrong (like “you’re selfish for wanting more time with him… ” or “Stop being so emotional, he’ll be fine” etc). We only do that kind of emotional blame or finger pointing when we’re trying to get the other person to stop feeling, wanting or saying what they’re saying. Which is none of our business (or within our own boundaries).

What IS your business (and thing to stand for) is what goes on within the boundaries of your own skin, heart and mind.

This is an example of how you can have connection and healthy boundaries when you’re feeling torn without collapsing or building a wall. And get your extra yoga class (or night off) at the same time. A win-win.

And this is one of the keys to becoming your own hero/champion and including yourself and your own needs in negotiations about childcare, work and project commitments and all the responsibilities of life.

Because, even though you Can do everything (be the loving mum, the successful biz woman, the considerate ex), life works way better when all of You is included and cared for in the process.

Mastering this process is part of how I help successful women stop taking on too much responsibility. Because it teaches them to listen and be patient as they decode their own inner experience, thoughts and needs, and then express them into the negotiations for what they do with their energy and time.

This is huge in shifting patterns of over-giving and exhausting themselves agreeing to things that end up costing them more energy in the future.

There’s a epidemic of over worked, over-stretched successful women in the world and healthy boundaries, a regulated nervous system and a friendly understanding of the ego drives that push us to over-give and become so exhausted is the pathway out that I offer.

If you need to gain your energy and time back from over-commitments, and want to learn how to have and communicate boundaries in a way that is firm and receptive, I run a wonderful 3.5 month 1:1 intensive to help women do just this.

We help you first to disengage from the worship of busy, to make your life an invitation for rejuvination, receptivity and rest. You get simple and profound tools for building healthy, courageous boundaries and the skilled guidance in uprooting the programmed responses and behaviours that have had you returning to the overworked, exhausted place over and over again.

The 3.5 month 1:1 program is online, with 9 long sessions, up to 4 laser coaching calls/month, online learning modules and unlimited email support. It’s ideal for you if you have done more than a beginners inner work and are committed to using your spot on the earth to create wonderful things (without burning out).

Reach out through the contact form if you’re interested, I’ll ask you a few questions to see if you’re a fit and we could begin within a week.

As she told me a little of her profound 18-year journey with healing her womb, I found myself getting fired up and affirming how much other women hearing it could be profoundly helped too, into a deeper self-connection and touch with their inner power source. Her story was pretty big.  So.. we’re gonna do an interview and record it (I’ll share the link with you to tune in when it’s ready).

Since this interaction, I’ve been writing reams about celebrating and uplifting each other.

And here is some of it

We are singing ourselves homeWe are singing ourselves home
In the bodies of each other
Each time you feel safe in my presence
Each time I see love pouring from your eyes
The act of loving another is as intimate as loving yourself
Giving to another
Lifting another up
It’s the same as lifting yourself
Can you feel it? 
The energy of another’s shine? 
When you really take them in, isn’t it as deeply satisfying as shining from the inside? 
There’s no separation
The time of competition and lack is over
Let us fall into the rich river of co-awakening
What power there is when you lift the other as fiercely and devotedly as if it were your own self 
What a Geiser of up-rushing good!
What joy and simple, but enormous, celebration 
My inner realms have constant waving pom-poms
.. a cheer squad, partying silently just for You
Colour and joy
At your rising 
At the hints of your light shining through
Shine through shine through my love 

The mother in you.
The business or career woman hungry for change,
The one who desperately cares for the environment and the one who just wants to see the world meditate itself to peace

I. Am. Celebrating. You

When people come to me and speak what they long for, the quiet voice that is ready to roar, the story full of richness and value, there’s a “fuck yes” in me. 
My hand is reaching out to all those wandering and yet to choose.. and I’m saying.. “this way.. what you want is this way” .. let’s put a fire under your bum.. remember what you long for and let it carries you forward into something you don’t yet know, but you know you want.
You can do this and we’re hungry for you to show up. 
And I’m built to stand here welcoming you Home.

Big love to You
Amanda

Pin for later!

Last week I was playing with some old worrying issues and doing a good job of “suffering” with them. As often happens when I’m in need, I felt a familiar tug to go and pick up a pen and paper. That tug is like feeling a parcel of words wanting to be heard, or a particular energy wanting to be felt .. And this is what came out. Hopefully, it will soothe and settle your worrisome places too 🙂

Preamble: I want to invite you to bring your worrisome thoughts here, now.

Just bring them as if you could offer them to something caring, and wise outside of yourself. Maybe something bigger than you that knows you as well or better than you know yourself. Now bring those worrisome thoughts and feelings (if you have any!) .. cause these are my INSTRUCTIONS from the Big Boss:

Dear one…

Give it all over to God

All of it

All the iddy biddy thinking bits

The worrying bits

the longings and … that big one you’ve been chewing on since you were a little tot

Give it all over to Life

Give your “getting it right” over

Give your “fucked it up”,

Give your “how will I ever?!”

Give it up.. it’s not yours to carry anyway

Give your hopes like cherished little birds, give them over

Give up your “next moment it’ll be better”

Give it All up.

And feel the Spaciousness that is you

And.. Pray

Ask to be shown

Ask to be guided

Let go of the ropes and see where the stream will carry you

Chances are it’ll be into something more soft and relaxing

Chances are it’ll be into something closer to that sense of You (not the “person” you, but the Being you)

It’s not personal, none of it, Life wants you to Relax.. ok??

So give it over. And enjoy the gift of This moment, right here

…

Do you have a nutty concern niggling at your insides? Would you like to have a go at getting your own Instructions from the Big Boss-Flavoured-like-You?

Here’s how:

1. Formulate a question about your concern or worry. Write it down

2. Take your pen and, using your non-dominant hand, let the pen (and your Big Boss/inner gudiance) answer. Let it stream and flow out.. it may sound like goobligook at first, just trust.

3. Act as if. Act as if you have access to an incredibly wise and benevolent being who has Exactly the answers and energy you need for your life right now. Act as if and let the pen and your hand show you how …

4. Let me know how you go!!

What’s happening in Wisdom Body World?

A Whole Lotta Self Care

You may have noticed that it’s been Super busy around here. A house move with a new clinic space in Ocean Shores, new fortnightly clinic opening in Paddington/Brisbane (I’m there again this weekend) and a 5 day trip to Melbourne just recently. Mama Gena, a woman whose work I deeply love and admire says that when the pressure is on with more work and more demands, you’ve gotta increase the self-care and pleasurable practices in equal measure.. the opposite of what we tend to do when there’s lots to “do”!

So last Tuesday, at the end of a full and beautiful day of sessions, I happy-sad-ly said goodbye to my Northcote/Melbourne clinic for a while so I can focus my energies up North.

I spent 2 nights down on the Mornington Penninsula with dear friends and went for a walk/jog up and down its sandy coastal tracks. I put my head on trees and my bum on sand. I listened.

I had my first ever float tank. Universes of silence ForEver. It wasnt all comfortable!

I slept a lot.

In the sun.

With a blanket – on my head!

Here’s some pics from my walk:

So, today this email is just a hello in your inbox, an update from me and a curiosity.. how are you doing, riding the waves of life?

I’m wishing you many good things and the strength and capacity to hold all that life brings. May the stream carry you somewhere delicious and restful

x with love, Amanda

Psst.. want to know whats happening in Wisdom Body world of offerings? You can keep in touch in social media land here

Today I want to share a love note. A bow to the humility and humanness in us all, as, perhaps you look back in reflection on your year.

At the end of every the year for the past 8+ years I have a spiritual teacher visit my hometown, and over the years she, and her teachings, have touched me very deeply and “taught me” a lot about love, about the mind and about True nature.  

A few Friday’s ago it was the first public meeting of her visit in the Shire, and I witnessed the size of her love and the way people became beautiful, authentic versions of themselves when they talked with her. My heart opened wide, I laughed till my cheeks hurt, and I remembered the incredible love I have found in her presence before, and forgotten. Again and again as I dive back into daily living and doing.

When I left that night, the laughter and love that had opened me wide again, brought up a big welling of grief. Grief for the way I’ve honoured my mind over what I know to be true, for the way I’ve chased and fed my fears, rather than the truth I found when sitting with her. A kind of desperate sadness to have lost something so precious in the flood of focus on living and survival.

And this is what I heard from inside my heart that I want to offer you.

Life will wait for you.

Your true nature, the love that is the base of you, and that is bigger than your “Amanda” or “Shane” or “Mary”… doesn’t mind if you spend 100 years chasing your tail in fear, anger or sadness.

It doesn’t mind if you give your thoughts, time and energy to your selfishness, your jealousy, your anger, your pettiness.

These things don’t touch who you are at all.

True nature is intelligent and deeply lovingly wise. You can’t get it wrong, can’t waste time. (That’s just a trick of the mind). But you can choose love and your true nature sooner. But only because something in you wants it.

Not because you should.

Be your Amanda, Mary or Shane.

Walk your walk and listen for the wise hum below and in it all.

You can’t get it wrong and love wants you as much as you want it.

And how glorious is That 🙂

Be well dear human!

with love

Amanda

It’s in our places of flow (and effortlessness) that our brilliance really shines

Let me share this from my experience… when a person has a great session with me, they may often express amazement at my skill or insight (I’m not boasting here.. I’m wanting to point you to something else,.. for you). Because I Always feel the response that “I didn’t do anything, it was You that made it happen!”. Or more to the point, “I just showed up, emptied myself and was available for the experience You called in”. It literally doesn’t feel like me.

In my experience, there is deep value in being able and willing to empty oneself.. but it is the receiver who sets the depth of what is available to happen. And that is Big!
A therapist, or parent or lover can have all the tools, the willingness or the Love to give, but if the receiver is not open to receive, that love, skill or offering has nowhere to go.

So brilliance is found in situations where all elements are open to it’s flow. The full exchange of giving and receiving. And it takes both parties in equal amounts to show up for their role in the cycle. It is a true gift (for self and other) to be able to give fully .. do you know that feeling? When someone really Gets what you are giving, and they take it in?? How Satisfying and fulfilling that feels to do what you love Fully?! (I’m often laughing when someone says thanks for a great session.. “they have no idea how great the experience was for me”!!)

And it’s also a true gift to be able to receive fully. To be able to totally soak something in without thought of the others needs or role. To be absorbed in the positive experience within your own body/Soul. The Spaciousness and satisfaction of that.
And when that cycle is open and flowing between both, grace can move in and magic happens. Often.

So how do you tap into your brilliance?

Become a conduit for grace to move through. Become nobody.

Whether you’re giving or recieving.. The places you are most brilliant are when “you” (your preferences and ideas) are least there. You are present with the moment, with the other elements in the space, but your personality has moved aside to listen, to respond, to express without pre-conceived thought.. this is often accompanied by a feelings of love, inspiration, compassion, joy..

And then … it’s just the way…
The words come without thought in just the right way, at just the right time hitting just the right note to create shifts in the listener.

The way, you’re in the flow of paint and line and colour and the way they combine just so on the canvas.. and you step back and think (how’d that happen?!)

The way your arms lift to the music and your hips swivel.. your legs leap and bounce and you’re dissolving in music expressing body, expressing joy

Emptying and flow, receiving and gifting.

To me, when I fall into my brilliance (which isnt “my brilliance” at all.. it’s the brilliance of Life) this cycle shows me how available and ready life is to LOVE us. How full the generous flow of life is when we play our role of giving and receiving and being “nobody” in the process.

A poem and a prayer for you 🙂

Let it all be proof that life loves you.
That soft, warm touch of sun on your cheek
The way the cool breeze makes you feel more alive
The depth of blue in the sky and how each time you actually look, those clouds are incredible and evidence of the miracle of life.
Let it all be proof that life wants to love you Everywhere, in every crack and crevice.
And if you find yourself on the receiving end of beauty, let it Pour in my love.
Let it nourish your cells
Open yourself to Love speaking to you through the mirror of life

What if pleasure (really taking in what is good in your world) was your travel companion and kindness your guide?

What if you are Perfect the way you are.  Exactly the shape you’re in.. and if anything needed fixing it would be the belief and behaviour saying you’re not!

I invite you to step into the possibility that you are a Miracle unfolding.

That your body can experience simple pleasures of the breeze on your skin, your own or your lovers gentle touch, and that there’s nothing More life needs from you.

Yes… what would That be like??

]]> https://www.wisdombodyacademy.com/is-it-time-to-step-into-the-miracle-that-you-are/feed/ 0 https://www.wisdombodyacademy.com/4613-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=4613-2 https://www.wisdombodyacademy.com/4613-2/#respond Mon, 29 Jan 2018 10:21:09 +0000 http://www.wisdombody.com.au/?p=4613 A few weeks ago I wrote an article talking about intention setting and life being a call and response thing. And today, I want to share some of where that insight has come from.. aka.. how do I know that life is always responding to our wishes and prayers?

Well, on a personal note, I see that most everything I have wished for has come to be.. eventually.

That particular quality of wild fun love, or that amount of money or even that shiny red car!

And I see this in my clients lives too. That whether we are in dire situations or feeling a quiet deep calling in the heart, life Does respond. And the main thing I want to share with you is that it ISNT your EFFORTS (or your ego) that makes it so. It’s the Nature of life itself.

… So let me be clear… Your efforts Can make stuff happen, but I reckon it doesn’t feel so good when it comes, cause often you’ve lost contact with the reason for it (feeling you wanted), or you’re so exhausted from the effort, you don’t enjoy it!

Of course, consistent effort/energy put in is necessary in many situations to get you to your goal…

But, what I have found, is that the more you think You are the one making it happen, the further you get from the experience you’re truly wanting to have (I’m taking a lot of liberties here describing your siutation.. but please bear with me.. you know I’m just talking about myself?! As always, take it all with a bar of soap and I hope its useful to the pusher in all of us!)

I believe there is a greater wisdom at work here. It’s an intelligence that orders the stars and gravity, grows the trees and moves the oceans. It is the thing that connects us all to each other and to itself. We are a part of it and we don’t need to do anything to “deserve” or create our separate pocket of goodness.

So, I’ll go a little more specific in Where I get this from

Over many years I have worked with and befriended many beautiful humans with childhood trauma. A common theme I see is that in their lack of safety in childhood, they have reached out to something else. Often in out of body states they become very good at conversing with the spirit realm, and build whole networks of connection with something outside of the body; with spirit, with non-physical guidance.

I see, even in the horrible truth of childhood abuse, a way that life comes in to create some kind of comfort. These friends and clients often work as psychics or energy workers, their sensitivities create a strong bridge to other realms that helps more earth-bound folk expand our perceptions.

What this shows me is that when the longing/need is strong, life responds and brings it rushing in. Sometimes not straight away or in the way we wish it. But it does come.

(It’s also in Diamond Essence work in the theory of holes .. when we feel and meet and get curious about a wound in the psyche (a “hole”), it will turn and often become the holes’ opposite. So sadness becomes peace and comfort

……
So, in the email a few weeks back, I said that I’d be sending an email about when we’re really Not able to relax with the way things are, or into trusting that life is going to respond.

And the keys to this are the same keys I use in all my work:

INVITE

LISTEN

ALLOW

and

INVITE again

If you are longing for more money or a new partner or more harmony in your home.. invite and call it in, ask or state that it’s here,

Listen to your inner response,

Allow the joy or tears or anger to move. Accept where you are with this… “Hold” your little one’s (old) feelings about it if they come up. Or if you’re very open to this thing you are calling for, enjoy the feeling of it running through your body! This is the feeling of life responding to your call!

And Invite the feeling of more money/love/harmony in again.

……………..

When we feel like life Suck bats b#lls, it’s a good time to have a cry, yell into a pillow, find a compassionate ear to listen to your un/reasonable feelings and let it all flow OUT. Inquire into the meat and grits of your experience, the light or the heavy, the spacious or the tight.

Cause, lovely one. Life, in my opinion, wants to love us. It wants to have harmonious flow and aliveness .. and where it’s not flowing and alive, it will welcome some sweet compassion and holding, not more pushing and should-ing.

All those intentions and things you openly or secretly long for.. it’s at its root, your souls longing for itself

It is trying to pull you Home.
Just exactly what’s in this moment,

Just exactly all of yourself,

So I invite you.. in your process of inviting, listening, allowing and inviting again.. to soften your hold on the timeline of things.

What would it be like if you had all the time in the world.. ?

What if there was never any rush and nowhere to get to? Just the process of enjoying your own soul’s call and response for itself?

In my experience, when there’s no rush, the gentle deep satisfaction of life can pour in. We can feel ourselves and what we’ve always been longing for.

I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts on this!

With much warm and goodly love,

xx Amanda

These are powerful things to do (and they often work!), but they can also distract us from the fullness and beauty of This moment, and can sometimes create tension .. as a teacher of mine says “too much intention causes tension”.

So, I’d like to offer something to the “intention-setting”pot.. that

Life is a call and response thing.

Life is Always responding. It can’t help it.. and you don’t have to Do anything or Be anything different for life to respond to your call. It’s actually all happening in the effortlessness.

And Effort (trying and “doing it right”) is sometimes the thing that gets in the way of things showing up with ease?!

Over the next few days I’m going to be sharing a bit about letting go and prayer to inspire your effortless welcoming of your desires in 2018, and also, what to do when you’re feeling effortful and stuck (aka, attached, emotional or doubting.. aka.. moving into effort or collapse).

Why might I be someone you’d listen to on this stuff? Well.. I’ve spent YEARS chasing and getting all het-up about my intentions! Put Lots of energy into making myself “better” so my longings (a better relationship, more money, more security etc etc) would come to me. I’m someone to listen to because of all the ways I’ve made it so hard for myself .. when it Really didn’t need to be!

I’m also someone who has spent years in an Essence school training learning to listen to the flow of god-force/life/essence and letting the non-physical essence of things guide me, and then years working with others to help them listen to and be guided by that gentle inner voice.

I’ve seen a lot of the glory and the underbelly of intention setting-land. A lot of the ways the personality comes in and tries to Do it. And I’ve experienced my own personality getting out of the way in my life and effortlessness taking root (SUCH a relief!).

So, my lovely, I have a gentle invitation for you…

Love your longings.. cuddle up with them, let there be space in the feeling of them

Listen in to the ones you have in your quiet times
Those gentle longings to rest more
To live more freely with more abandon
To do that thing that makes your heart sing

Allow yourself to dream
Let all the ideas and longings just bubble up without filter
Everything is ok
Everything is offered for a reason

You came here with a particular leaning
A particular skill set
A particular shape

Let it blossom and Be
(You’ll feel so much better for it)